I am pondering about life again, while watching my korean dramas, fantasizing about a those korean-drama-like-romance that will never occur in real life.
I was just thinking and realised that other than being unemployed, I am actually VERY single. I haven't gotten attached for years. Looking at my peers having someone to text everyday all day, someone to hang out with during the weekends, I am honestly jealous.
A little about me, I only had one past relationship in my secondary school. After secondary school, I went to Polytechnic, and university. Through these years, I have not gotten into a relationship. I have been to several first dates, but none went on to the second.
Am I that weird that no one wants to date me?
Or is it just that I am not putting in any effort?
Couple of weeks back, I met up with my uni friend and we were just chatting about random stuff. One of the topics we talked about was relationships and my friend was saying "why isn't *male friend's name* in a relationship?". Where she meant that our friend was quite decent looking, and nice too, why wasn't he dating someone. My friend also mentioned that I am "the dating kind". I don't really know what she meant by that.
But seriously, why ain't I dating?
I am single and available for probably 5 years already? since my last relationship and there are so many people that I know that can get into relationships within months.
Then why is my success rate so low?
Honestly, I really want to date, and meet someone special. Get married, have kids, while having a good job. Is that too much to ask for?
I seriously think that it is the education system that I am in where academics are of high importance where I am so successful is abandoning all my other life missions and focus on my academics.
What's the use of a nice bachelor's degree when I am a failure in life!
- No job
- No partner
- No social life
I think the "traditional" asian culture also has a part to play in my failure in life.
Where I guess I am old fashioned in a way where I tend to let the males take the first step in relationship. Like comeon! We are in 2016, why am I so old fashioned? hahaha.
But there isn't someone around me that I consider dating to the point where I will take initiative to ask him out. Or may be I am not ready?
I just don't know. My life is a mess.
Unemployed, no life, no nothing.
*end of rant*