Tuesday, 12 July 2016

dating, a life mission?

Hi readers,

I am pondering about life again, while watching my korean dramas, fantasizing about a those korean-drama-like-romance that will never occur in real life.

I was just thinking and realised that other than being unemployed, I am actually VERY single. I haven't gotten attached for years. Looking at my peers having someone to text everyday all day, someone to hang out with during the weekends, I am honestly jealous.

A little about me, I only had one past relationship in my secondary school. After secondary school, I went to Polytechnic, and university. Through these years, I have not gotten into a relationship. I have been to several first dates, but none went on to the second.

Am I that weird that no one wants to date me? 
Or is it just that I am not putting in any effort? 

Couple of weeks back, I met up with my uni friend and we were just chatting about random stuff. One of the topics we talked about was relationships and my friend was saying "why isn't *male friend's name* in a relationship?". Where she meant that our friend was quite decent looking, and nice too, why wasn't he dating someone. My friend also mentioned that I am "the dating kind". I don't really know what she meant by that. 

But seriously, why ain't I dating? 

I am single and available for probably 5 years already? since my last relationship and there are so many people that I know that can get into relationships within months. 

Then why is my success rate so low? 

Honestly, I really want to date, and meet someone special. Get married, have kids, while having a good job. Is that too much to ask for? 

I seriously think that it is the education system that I am in where academics are of high importance where I am so successful is abandoning all my other life missions and focus on my academics. 

What's the use of a nice bachelor's degree when I am a failure in life! 
- No job
- No partner
- No social life


I think the "traditional" asian culture also has a part to play in my failure in life. 

Where I guess I am old fashioned in a way where I tend to let the males take the first step in relationship. Like comeon! We are in 2016, why am I so old fashioned? hahaha. 

But there isn't someone around me that I consider dating to the point where I will take initiative to ask him out. Or may be I am not ready?

I just don't know. My life is a mess. 

Unemployed, no life, no nothing. 


*end of rant*

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