Just want to express my feelings somewhere.
I haven't been attached for the longest while. I am starting to feel that it is because i am anti-social, intimidating to some of my guy friends, and not very appealing.
I guess those are the reasons why. But I am not bitter about it. I believe that I will still able to find someone who loves and likes me for me.
I've put myself on tinder, on coffee meets bagel. I dont know how well these apps work in an Asian community but we shall see how it goes.
What I want to say is that I have this guy friend, he is one year younger than me. Still persuing his degree, whereas I've graduated. But this guy friend, frequently chats with me. I am not sure why he speaks that much to me. I am not sure why i speak that much to him either. We met each other via our CCA in university. We weren't even talking when I was still in it. We used to be chatting and texting each other daily the beginning of this year. I dont know how we progressed to chatting and texting so frequently. But it died how a little due to his finals.
I am not sure if we will chat up again after his exams but if we do, will we progress to more than just friends?
I am not sure.
I have guy friends that are really friendly to me on instagram chats. He sometimes will reply or say something funny on the things I post. but he wasnt interested in me. in fact he recently got attached to another girl. So I am not sure what that first guy thinks about when he texts me.
But for that guy that I have been chatting frequently with. I am not sure how he felt about me. I feel that sometimes he will take the initiative to start the conversation first. and maybe i dont text and talk to that many people now after i've entered the work force, i noticed that he text me quite frequently.
I am really confused by my relationship with him. I have actually went out alone with him on an event. Actually he needed to run some errands for school so he asked me to accompany him to get the items. and after that he sent me an article about iLight at Marina Bay and I just said ' lets go!' I guess its a casual way of asking him out.
i think all the conversations i had with him was quite shallow and personal. its not like we are talking about our life goals or something or getting in a relationship.
But i am not sure if i and him will proceed on to be more than friends. I am not sure if I should even hope that things will work out with me and him. I like to think that i should not put my hopes high and just wait for something to happen between me and him.
I dont know. i suddenly feel that i am desperate to get into a relationship. :/